While we may hold our old-timey holiday traditions close to our hearts — singing vaguely-creepy carols, hiding a pickle ornament in our tree, and drinking a little too much eggnog at the function like our mom and grandmother before us — there are some celebrations we're glad stayed in the past. Enter the canned-meat-fueled, somewhat sexist holiday pastimes seen in old-school seasonal advertisements.
From glizzy-lined Christmas trees to Santa's cigarette of choice, here are 11 weird holiday ads that seem unbelievable now.
1
Tis the season to be jolly ... and serve canned ham with whipped topping.
2
“You’ll shoot your eye out!”
3
There’s a reason we’re still sipping hot cocoa and cider 55 years later
4
This ad — or should we say seasonal PSA — takes “Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire” to new, hazardous heights.
5
Deck the halls with boughs of glizzys?
6
Though we may miss a lot of things from the ‘70s, we’re glad we don't have to find these under the tree come Christmas morning.
7
Nothing says “Happy Holidays” quite like making your family dog reek of cigarette smoke.
9
Why leave cookies and milk out for Santa Claus when you could just throw him a whole carton of smokes?
10
We hope to never get that sloppy at our company holiday parties.
11
We sure hope the “gift of words” comes with a receipt.
12
Make the yuletide gay with a bad DIY surf-and-turf.
