13 People Who Fell in Love With and Married Inanimate Objects
I now pronounce you ... person and object?
Published 8 months ago in Wow
"If you love that thing so much, why don't you marry it?" It's a common playground taunt ... and a way of life for a handful of down-bad folks who caught feelings for intimate objects.
From the woman who tied the knot with Tetris to the artist who calls a rock in her garden her eternal beloved, here are 13 people who fell in love with — and married — inanimate objects and ideas.
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Knoebels Amusement Park in Elysburg, Pennsylvania was love at first sight. "I was instantly attracted to him sexually and mentally,” she said. “I wasn’t freaked out, as it just felt so natural, but I didn’t tell anyone about it because I knew it wasn’t ‘normal’ to have feelings for a fairground ride."3
I now pronounce you woman and stone? In 2016, artist Tracey Amin tied the knot with a rock from her garden, crediting its eternal nature with helping to keep her grounded. "It just means that at the moment I am not alone; somewhere on a hill facing the sea, there is a very beautiful ancient stone, and it’s not going anywhere,” she said. “It will be there, waiting for me."4
While we all have a favorite tree in our community, Karen Cooper went to romantic lengths to rescue a 100-year-old ficus from being cut down in her native Fort Myers Florida, marrying the beloved tree back in 2018. "When I heard the city was planning to cut it down, I was like, 'I don’t think so,'" she told ABC News of her wedding. "I'm just having fun with something very serious."6
In 1979, Eija-Riitta Berliner-Mauer became a married woman after she married the Berlin Wall. Considering her love for the landmark — one she said started when she was just six years old — she was less-than-thrilled when the wall was taken down in 1989. "What they did was awful,” she said. “They mutilated my husband.”7
While she may have previously had a fling with the Statue of Liberty, Amanda Liberty found love again … this time in a 91-year-old chandelier named Lumiere. “I’m determined to have this commitment ceremony, to prove that I’m here for Lumiere and that my love is going to last,” she said of her glowing groom in 2019.8
No matter how much you may love Tetris, Fractal Tetris Huracan has you beat, announcing that she planned to marry the video game in 2018. “I think Tetris is so beautiful, he is about perfection and he stimulates your mind,” she said. “Physically I get that feeling that people in relationships get – that you know they are the right one.”9
Though Amanda Teague may have found love in the 300-year-old ghost of a pirate named Jack, their marriage was short lived, the pair calling it quits after four years together. “I feel it’s time to let everyone know that my marriage is over,” she said of their union. “I will explain all in due course but for now all I want to say is be VERY careful when dabbling in spirituality, it’s not something to mess with…”13
No matter how much you may be glued to your phone, your bond with your device isn’t nearly as strong as that of Aaron Chervenak, who married his iPhone at the Little Las Vegas Chapel back in 2016. "If we’re gonna be honest with ourselves, we connect with our phones on so many emotional levels. We look to it for solace, to calm us down, to put us to sleep, to ease our minds, and to me, that’s also what a relationship is about," he said of their betrothal. "In a sense, my smartphone has been my longest relationship."