15 Lyrics From 'The Tortured Poets Department' That Would Get Taylor Swift Laughed Off An Open Mic Stage
No, Taylor, we will not touch you while our bros play 'Grand Theft Auto'.
Published 10 months ago in Facepalm
It's the day swifties — and purveyors of the art of hating — have all been waiting for: Taylor Swift has finally released her highly anticipated album, The Tortured Poets Department.
Despite our initial skepticism surrounding her 11th album — as several so aptly noted, Swift is a billionaire dating a recent Super Bowl champion, not a "tortured poet" — the work somehow managed to fulfill its titular promise: Torturing those stuck listening to Swift's terrible, terrible lyrics.
From complete — and cringeworthy — revisions of history to Charlie Puth's unnecessary shoutout, here are 15 lyrics from The Tortured Poets Department that would get T-Swizzle laughed out of any open mic night.