We Americans seem to forget that we're not the center of the world, and it's not our way or the highway. In fact, there are plenty of "foreign" customs and traditions that would leave the average American in shambles.
Heck, we can't even keep our cool when the person in front of us is taking too long in McDonald's.
Here are 15 customs around the world that would figuratively, and literally kill the average American.
1
Eating on the Floor: Japan
I dare the average American to try and sit like that, and I dare you to find a floor that’s clean enough.
2
Baby Jumping: Spain
In the Spanish El Colacho festival, men wearing yellow suits jump over new babies to help “absorb their sins.” Yeah, most Americans aren’t making it all the way over their babies.
3
Cheese Rolling: England
I’m sure you’ve seen videos of cheese rolling, but any American would turn the entire festival into “American rolling.”
4
Running of the Bulls: Spain
Yeah, if this festival were conducted along the Vegas Stretch instead of the streets of Pamplona, we’d have quite a few trampled slot players.
5
Sitting in the Front of the Taxi: Australia, and More
In some countries, it’s actually considered mean to sit in the back of a taxi. But that level of personal interaction might kill the average anti-social, social media-addicted American.
6
Opening Presents: Asia
In some Asian countries, opening gifts in front of the gift giver is considered impatient and disrespectful. But there’s no way Americans are that patient.
7
Pajamas: Japan
A hoodie with pajama pants has become the standard uniform for shopping at Target, but in many other countries, leaving the house requires a lot more dressing up.
8
Blowing Your Nose: China, France and More
Blowing your nose, spitting, or other such actions are considered gross to do in public across much of the world. But have you ever ridden the subway? Yeah, that’s not happening here.
9
Baby Tossing: India
Called Baba Umer Dargah, the practice of dropping babies off of tall ledges onto blankets has already been banned in many places, but if practiced in the United States, it would result in plenty of “drops.”
10
Noise Making: Germany
Called the Polterabend, this tradition calls for making loud noises in front of your home in celebration, often by breaking things like plates. I just know that would wake up my Karen neighbor, and get me a call from the HOA.
11
Don’t Pass the Salt: Egypt
Asking for salt or other condiments can be seen as an insult to the chef in Egypt. But any American I know will do anything they can to add more.
12
Wife-Carrying: Finland
Considering the fitness level of the average American, the Finnish have a definite leg up with this one.
13
Oidashibeya: Japan
In Japan, instead of going through the embarrassing practice of firing an employee, companies will instead lower the employee's workload until they have no choice but to quit from boredom, and shame that they aren’t contributing to the common cause. This practice is called Oidashibeya, meaning work purgatory. But that sounds like the dream job to me, and it probably does to most other Americans too. This would kill the American economy.
14
Disrobing: Finland, France, and More
Americans do not like to reveal more than is culturally acceptable. But in places like Finland, taking it all off to hang out in a sauna with your friends is totally normal. Plenty of other countries have also destigmatized the birthday suit.
15
Not Driving: The Entire World
Have you ever tried suggesting riding a bike, or taking mass transit to an American? Yeah, they would rather die.
