1

“The dentist had his fingers in my mouth and said ‘light’ to his assistant in the room. I thought he said “bite” so I bit him. Even typing this I can’t believe I bit my dentist.”

2

“About seven years ago, I woke up in the morning, yawned nice and wide, and pop, dislocated my jaw, stuck wide open. One trip to the ER later, the doctor safely popped it back in place. Easy, done and done, no pain. Grabbed some coffee on the way back, went for another yawn since I was still tired. Pop

I dislocated my jaw twice in the same morning, with a return trip to the ER not even an hour after I left the first time. I was slightly sedated when someone I knew from high school came in, working at the hospital as a fellow. Weird to try and catch up with one of the cool kids in school when you're drugged up, mouth stuck wide open, drooling and trying to grunt what you've been up to since high school.”

3

“My feces were red. WebMD said I might have cancer. They asked me for a sample. Doctor called back a few days later and asked about my diet. Apparently large quantities of Swedish fish will turn it red.”

4

“Finished my cleaning, dentist comes in and is looking my mouth over. Out of the blue he asks me ‘You staying off the pot?’ I tried to be funny and say, ‘Yeah, do you know where I can buy some weed?’ I realized pretty quickly as he is staring at me, completely baffled, that I have misread the situation. Then it clicks. I say, ‘I'm sorry, I am just realizing now... did you ask me if I am staying off pop, like soda?’”

5

“I fell asleep on my groin area one time and I woke up with immense pain. My roommate drove me to the hospital, and I had to explain to my doctor about what happened. It was very uncomfortable. He ended up telling me that in some cases like this, they would have to be removed due to zero blood flow.”

6

“Went to the urologist for groin pain. He said he wanted to try to look at it by trans-illumination, which apparently involves shining a bright light right there. I thought, "Okay, he's going to use some fancy equipment or something." Nope. He just flicks the lights off, whips out his personal phone from his pocket, turns on the flashlight, and proceeds to snug it right up underneath. Not really embarrassing, but kinda weirded out that this doc is walking around with the mustiest phone in town.”

7

“Admitting to my doctor the reason I stopped taking my anxiety medication was because I ran out, and was afraid I’d be accused of drug-seeking if I called and asked for a refill.”

8

“I got a staph infection in my behind from sitting in a bathtub used by a relative who was a staph carrier. I had to drop my and bend over the exam table while the doctor lanced it and drained it. Now I refuse to take baths anywhere that’s not my home.”

9

“Had an irritated mole removed. Said mole was basically on my inner thigh with my sack rubbing against it all the time. The removal process had me with legs up in the air, spread wide, held to the side by me while male doctor and older female nurse took care of it.”

10

“I remember reading an embarrassing story in a magazine, by a woman who had gone to the gynecologist and had to give a urine sample. She finished going, only to realize there was no tp, so she grabbed a tissue from her purse. Later, when she was lying on the table, the doctor gave her a curious look before peeling a priority US stamp off of her.”

11

“I read a piece where a lady did a quick freshening up with a washcloth before going in for her gynecology exam. Doc made some funny comments indicating he knew she must have freshened up. Got home, only to discover the washcloth she used had previously been used by her daughter to clean up glitter, which obviously made her very ‘sparkling’ clean.”

12

“Went to the ER with severe stomach pain. When the doctor finally saw me they started pushing on my stomach asking where it hurts and they dislodged the world’s biggest gas release. It went on for a solid minute. It smelled so bad my eyes were watering. I was cured.”

13

“Have had GI issues my whole life, including hemorrhoids. Asked my GP and he wanted to take a look. The mirror in the room really made this experience. He asked and I consented to having a test tube like implement inserted. His goal was to see what was going on right inside. I, unfortunately, saw this kind man peering up there, and kinda lost it. I laughed so hard the implement shot out at this kind man. He referred me to a GI. And that was that.”

14

“I thought I was spotting when I was pregnant. I was scared I was miscarrying and it was the first time I was pregnant. Turns out I was suuuuuuper constipated, and when I finally went I ripped my backside open, and that’s where the bleeding came from.”

15

“Pretty sure I might win this one. Went to my family doctor with stomach issues, and on the drive over I was convinced she was going to stick the ol’ finger up there for the first time. When I got there I told her my issues. She told me to get up on the exam table. As she turned around to get gloves I was like, “welp here goes,” and proceeded to pull my pants down and bend over the exam table. She turned back around, and audibly gasped in surprise. Then she said “I only need to feel your stomach. You can pull your pants up.”