1

The new guy at my work just got fired for stealing 100$ from the register on his second day.

2

Day one of training. There are twelve of us sitting in a room at computers. The trainer is going over company policy, expectations, etc. We have been here about an hour. Suddenly the boss comes in. He walks over to a guy sitting on my row, grabs him by his collar and physically lifts him out of his chair and frog-marches him out the door. No words, no explanation. I lean back and glance over at the now vacant computer. Porn. Porn everywhere. The man literally started browsing porn within his first 60 minutes of working.

3

Dude showed up drunk to his 2nd day on the job. Manager training him noticed and fired him when he proved to be too drunk to even fake sobriety.

4

When I was a teenager, I had a job at a country club washing dishes. Wasn’t the most fun or best paying but everyone in the kitchen were friends so it made the job easy. The manager hired this new kid (read: pissant) to help us out, so we were asked to show him how to do things. This was right before lunch was over, so within a few minutes all the dishes and plates come back. This kid took a nice long look at the big mountain of dirty dishes and goes “No! No way I’m not doing those, that’s disgusting.” So we ask him to go sweep the other side of the kitchen and start mopping so we don’t have to later and he goes “I’m not SWEEPING the floor OR mopping it, I don’t do that kind of things. “ At this point, one of the older guys in the kitchen says “Is there anything you can do?” The kitchen got real quiet after that. The kid looked at the guy, then back at the pile of dishes, and then walked out the door never to be seen again. He was there for maybe 20 minutes, and didn’t lift a finger the entire time.

5

I work as a graphic designer. While attempting to use InDesign, a woman on her first day asked me how to create a text box. She was gone within minutes.

6

The roofing company I worked for hired a new guy. He was doing ok until it came time to leave. He refused to go down the ladder. He was too scared. After the VP talked to him for about an hour he finally convinced him to go down. The VP went first and kinda wrapped his arms around him as he went down. The guy pissed his pants and it went all over the VP. I guess he didn’t technically fire him, nor did the guy quit, but it was pretty obvious that he was no longer going to be working there.

7

We just hired a girl who called an hour before her first shift and said “Omg I’m so hungover and I still don’t want to get out of bed. I’m not going to make it in today, so do whatever it is you have to do.” I had to work 14 hours that day and cursed her name each of those hours.

8

I was training a nurse who previously worked OB and decided she wanted to try psych. We walk into a room of a patient who believes he was under attack. To defend himself he had feces that he was throwing at us. I think nothing of it and go in take the shit out if his hand and flush it. I had a long-standing rapport with this patient, so I knew it wouldn’t be an issue. This was about 3 hours into the shift. At that moment she handed me her badge and keys then left.

9

One of the teachers at my school quit about two weeks in after a kindergartner hit her in the face.

10

I have had plenty of people not make it far past the four-hour orientation. It boggles mind that people play nice in interviews and beg for a job, and then they sit down in a group of people and the real side comes out. I don’t know if people feel more comfortable knowing they have a job or what, but if you are an asshole on your first day I will fire you without any questions asked.

11

Years ago I had to train someone to do a job. I sat there and trained him for four hours, half the day. When we were done with the training I told him he could start on his own and he just looks at me and says, “no, I don’t think i want to do this. Can I just get paid for my four hours and leave?” He knew about ten minutes in he wasn’t going to work there but wasted my entire morning. I had better things to do. I told him I would put his hours in and then his check would be mailed to him in 4-6 weeks. I made sure to tell HR to hold his check for as long as they possibly could.

12

A couple months ago my boss hired a new cook to help in the kitchen at Whataburger. My boss was working with him and started yelling and screaming at him because he wasn’t moving quickly enough on the grill. Dude had been working for maybe 20 minutes, manager was treating him like he had been doing it for years. After the manager screamed for the third or fourth time at the kid, he put down the spatula and said “f**k this.” He was there for about 30 mins

13

Our help desk guy skipped his 6th day of work, just no call no show. The guy was kind of a dick anyway. Next day he shows up like nothing happened, just totally normal. Then we ask him what the deal was after a few hours, he says something about being hit by a car. Within an hour he is gone.

14

I worked at an Italian Restaurant one summer as a busboy (dishwasher). About a month in, they hire another busboy (I think there were 4 or 5 of us) and tell me to train him, which I did. The next week I notice his name is crossed off the schedule so I ask one of my managers what happened. He said they discovered that instead of washing the utensils, which he knew he was supposed to do, he was throwing them away. Insta-fired.

15

We had a new sales manager starting, she turned up on the first day quite obviously inebriated and smelling pretty bad. She stumbled around for a minute without saying a word to anyone, until she managed to drop her bag on the floor, at which point out fell a half-drunken bottle of booze. That bottle of booze then proceeded to roll slowly across the office floor to the stunned silence of everyone watching, until it eventually came to a stop right at the foot of the office manager. The look on the office manager’s face during this whole proceeding was priceless. Unsurprisingly she was taken into a meeting room for about 10 minutes and left straight after. The office manager swears to this day that she was really good in the interview.

16

During the first day of orientation for one of our new class of customer service agents, one chick raises her hand to ask a question. “How long do we have to work until we are eligible to collect unemployment?” The HR Generalist stood there for a minute, stunned, and then asked her with disgust “Why would you even ask that?” He then promptly escorted her out of the building.