Despite all the years we spent in school memorizing dates, conquests and rhymes to help us recall which year Christopher Columbus sailed the ocean blue, history can, in fact, be simplified. This does, however, come with its own set of caveats, ones the historians of Reddit know very, very well.
From Abraham Lincoln's bad night at the theater to a London baker's quest to take a nap, here are 20 poorly-explained historical events.
1
The Chicxulub Asteroid Impact
“Dinosaurs got dunked on by a space rock.”
2
The Cold War
“Russia tried to make a few little silos and the US got scared and said, you're moving back to the East with your missiles impaired.”
3
The Writing Of The Declaration of Independence
“A country gets mad about having to pay extra for some tea and stamps so they write a break up letter to Britain”
4
September 11 Attacks
“A group of aspiring pilots worked together on a months long plan to remodel New York City”
5
Genghis Khan’s Conquests
“One man's conquest to have the most children ever.”
6
World War I
“Some guy got killed, and then a few million other guys got killed as a result.”
7
The Reign Of Terror
“French royalty giving head in public.”
8
The Black Plague
“Rats help solve overpopulation.”
9
The Trojan Horse
“The city of Troy gets a beautiful present from the people they fought for years. Granted that's not perhaps that historical, but it should be good enough for this, no?”
10
The Boston Tea Party
“America stuck it to Britain by making the Boston Harbor into a giant glass of tea.”
11
The Ides Of March
“Julius Caesar gets poked by his best friends.”
12
Adolf Hitler's Dictatorship
“Aspiring artist and immigrant gets elected chancellor and achieves his wildest dreams.”
13
The Great Fire of London
“Guy falls asleep while baking. London gets VERY hot.”
15
The American Revolution
“A time where America had some daddy issues.”
16
The Assassination of Abraham Lincoln
“Lincoln's one bad night at the theatre.”
17
The Invention Of Penicillin
“Some dude grew a fungus on his own dish and f—king cured everyone”
18
D-Day
“Normandy and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad D-Day.”
19
The Great Emu War
“Giant birds take advantage of poor fencing, eat the food within it, and continue to multiply; they manage to thwart humans who get mad about it.”
20
The Bombing Of Hiroshima
“A gay dropped a little boy on top of a city, and it made an awful mess.”
21
Rosa Parks and the Civil Rights Movement
“A woman really, REALLY wants a specific seat on the bus.”
