20 WTF Tattoos to Make You Think Before You Ink
Think before you ink.
Published 3 years ago in Funny
Tattoos are an exercise in permanence; sure, you can get that tattoo of Popeye punching the chicken from Family Guy lasered off, leaving only a reddened, faded ghost of a drunken escapade you went on exactly seven years, 43 days and 21 hours ago. But, as any trained tattoo artist will attest to, the professionals inking you prefer their clients having thought through their decision to get a super WTF tattoo. These people could've used a little more than that.
Down below are some of the craziest, most WTF stories from real tattoo artists shared on one deeply insane thread.
Down below are some of the craziest, most WTF stories from real tattoo artists shared on one deeply insane thread.
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1
u/Kypriot: I used to work with a guy who had a tattoo on the side of his body that was a woman squatting over a pond full fire hydrant p--sing into it, inside the pond was floating decapitated heads.
When I asked him wtf was this he told me that the woman was his ex and the heads were all his kids. I asked why is she pissing on them and he told me he has a p--s fetish…. -
3
u/perfectroughdraft: Not a tattoo artist, but I asked a similar question once when I was getting my own tattoo. He said the weirdest thing a client had asked for was bugs in her nether regions made to look as if they were crawling out of her vagina. That's a mental image I'll unfortunately never forget. -
5
u/sal-t_brgr: Not a tattoo artist, but once in jail I held 12 D batteries in a rolledup newspaper to power a homemade tattoo machine while a friend tried tattooing the word KING on his d--k. He made the first stroke on the K and decided its hurt too much and that it would make a nice a cross instead. Lmao -
6
u:Loctusofsmorgasbord: A zombie wearing a purple basketball jersey hacking a guys arm off, and vomiting. The guy is also vomiting up at the zombie and the streams of the two are meeting in the middle.
I’ve also done a cartoon fish being choked by another fishes poo. The choking fish is trying to unravel the poo. At the top of this sleeve there’s a first holding an aquarium net.
Two crossed joints over a Jamaican flag and the smoke forms the date of the first time he smoked weed on a Cruise. With his parents. -
14
u/tjohnboy: I was a piercer for a few years at a local shop. During my first year of my apprenticeship we had a younger, 20 something male who had come in to get his forehead tattooed. I handled majority of the paperwork for the tattoo artists at the time as well and he had requested the word FUBAR to be done.
He went back into the booth with the artist at the time and was told to come back the next day after he slept on it because you know, it’s permanent and we wanted to make sure he was 100% certain. To all our dismay, he returned the next day to proceed with the tattoo. He had told us while getting tattooed that it was payback to his mother for favoring his older brother their whole life and he wanted to “return the favor” of how much she f--ked up his life. I’ll never forget the smile on his face as he walked out the door. -
15
u/F-ckYeahPhotography: I knew a guy that got a tattoo of a d--k on his d--k so he could ask people "wanna see my d--k?" and they would usually protest "no!" He would follow up with "it's a tattoo" laughing, so they would be like "oh ok." Awaiting a humorous tattoo of a dong to be displayed to them.
This was as you know a false sense of security. A lie. A crime. A bamboozle if you will. He would pull down his pants, and whip out his d--k on a d--k. Much to the dismay of all parties present with the exception of him of course. Funny character that one. Anyway, he did a lot of meth. -
18
u/zombieriot: Girl had a dream about marrying a dolphin. She got a tattoo of her as a mermaid, rising from the water in an embrace with the dolphin. Halfway through, after hitting on me the whole time and telling me stories about an abusive ex, she started arguing about the colour scheme and left with only the outline and some shading. -
19
u/willieyobslayer: Had a woman come into the shop one time way back who looked like she’d been in a tanning booth 8 days a week for the last 40+ years. She wanted to get her locked-up man’s name tattooed on her, but she wanted it “down there”.
She convinced me to get waaaay closer to her jukebox than I was comfortable with, and had me tattoo “Billy Jack’s P--sy” so far up in there that I think we’re common law related now. (name slightly changed for anonymity). Best part is that a couple weeks later “Billy Jack” called me from prison tell me how much he loved the tattoo. It was a collect call too. God damn it. Thanks for bringing that memory back. I was almost over it, lol.
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