24 Great Insults That Don’t Require Cursing

Some great insults you can use against your enemies, and in front of your grandma.

By Toonacious

Published 2 years ago in Funny

Are you looking for interesting ways to verbally annihilate the people who've been terrible to you? Here's a brief list of creative but funny insults from Ask Reddit that'll come in handy the next time someone irritates you.

1
“Your mom should’ve swallowed you.”

2
“Shut up ya muffin sniffer”

3
“A well placed sigh.”
4
“Your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberries!”

5
“If I were to agree with you, we would both be wrong.”
6
"Go play in traffic!"
7
“You're in America. You're free to have all the wrong opinions you want.”

8
“Mouthbreather.”
9
“(Look at their outfit and/or hairstyle) "You're so brave!"
10
"If you gained one brain cell it would be real lonely."

11
“You have the gift of being able to brighten any room just by leaving."
12
“My interactions with you have forced me to change my stance on abortion.”
13
“Not really an insult, but I throw pet names back at guys that use them on me. Example: a coworker said "pass me that box there, sweet heart" to which I replied "get it yourself, champ."

14
“You’re not the dumbest person on earth, but you better hope they don’t die.”
15
“Your bloodline is weak and history will forget you.”
16
“I hope that your socks never get quite dry enough.”

17
“I'm angry that your parents met.”
18
“I envy people who have never met you.”
19
“In Australia you can pretty much call anyone an idiot by adding “you absolute” to any word. My fave is “you absolute paperclip!”

20
“Bless their heart.”
21
“Straight from Shakespeare "I wish we could become better strangers."
22
“I would challenge you to a fight of wits, but I see you are unarmed!" says Shakespeare.

23
"Well, my days of not taking you seriously are certainly coming to a middle."
24
"I'm thinking you weren't burdened with an over-abundance of schooling."
25
“My mum’s favorite is “don’t think, it hurts the team.”