If you're looking to improve your situation in life most people will tell you to work hard and be a good person and that through your hard work and determination, the things you want will simply come your way.
I'm here to tell you those people are lying. Sure, hard work and being easy to get along with are two qualities everyone should have, but the world doesn't always reward the good guys and girls.
Sometimes you need to get your hands dirty to get ahead. So if you have a malleable moral compass, these life hacks won't land you in prison, but they will put you on Santa's naughty list.
1
Have a large, “professional” looking camera. Get a bright vest that says “press” on it. Make an ID. Go to town. Almost free access anywhere.
2
When you call in sick to work, call lying down as it makes you sound more congested.
3
If you want to lie, make a part of the lie something shameful. Everybody will believe you.
4
If you rob a bank you have almost guaranteed shelter regardless of the outcome.
5
Wear black carpenter pants, black polo, multi tool, flash light and a clipboard. Walk with purpose. Get you backstage 90% of the time.
6
If you’re planning on calling out sick, schedule an email about it at a weird time early in the morning. People don’t doubt it when they think you were up at 4:37 am vomiting. Then if you need to physically call, you can do that later and have written documentation that you were “up all night vomiting” or whatever.
7
If you shop around at garage sales or good will, some brands offer lifetime warranties.
8
If you run for Congress, you get government briefings, some of them confidential, then you can trade stocks on the info.
9
Educate children using dog training techniques.
10
Pay for one movie ticket, stay in cinema all day. Works almost always everywhere.
11
If you get in a one-car accident, or fall asleep whilst driving, etc., tell the responding police that you "swerved to avoid an animal.".
12
Work correspondence hack: Anything that benefits you, put it in an email, letter, etc. so it can be memorialized when possible. Anything that is detrimental to you, make a call or discuss the issue face to face verbally. Don’t leave a paper trail. .
13
Re-gifting presents as 'timeless heirlooms'.
14
For entry level / lower level jobs, lie on your resume. Most places don’t have the time to check that you’re telling the truth. Put a friend’s phone number down as an “old boss”, or bump up your degree, whatever you need to do. Just make sure you actually have the skills you claim to have.
15
I worked at a grocery store and saw the same 3 people show up all the time and steal stuff. The manager said there aren't even recordings for the cameras and they don't care if people steal. I started treating myself to lunch after that.
16
Bluffing on your resume about trending skills & experience - although make sure you are well-versed in the skills & aware of the fake experience.
17
If you're looking for parking and you ended up somewhere where rows of cars got fined, just pull up, park your car, walk over to one of those cars, take the fine from their windscreen and put it on yours. Enjoy your day. .
18
I have lied thru my teeth every time I have been sat on a jury to get out of it. Works every time.
19
You can get into most places by wearing a maintenance uniform i.e cover alls a construction helmet+ vest and carrying a tool box or ladder. I would recommend a respirator and gloves. No more movie tickets needed.
20
If I break something that is still available for sale, I go buy a new one, then return the broken one with the new receipt a day later, saying it only lasted a day. I've used this for video game controllers, toasters, blenders, vacuums, and a lot of items. The store never questions it, and I get a new item for very little effort and no additional cost.
21
Petty judgmental attitude towards others to make you forget your low self esteem . Unethical but way too common.
22
Flights around 9/11 are cheaper
23
In the self-checkout aisle, you call the shots. Organic pears become regular pears. Organic apples become regular pears. Organic meat becomes regular pears; if you tear off the bar code. The scanner is just a mindless machine, take control of your own destiny.
24
Road signs are free you can just take em!
25
Girl Scout cookies are able to be resold easily. Girl Scouts are terrible at spotting counterfeit currency.
