How do you mobilize a voter base? Try to take away their nicotine. 

That's what Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer seems to have accomplished after he proposed federal intervention against Zyn yesterday. If you're unfamiliar, Zyns are highly addictive nicotine pouches that can be used instead of smoking or e-cigarettes. They have developed quite a cult following. After the announcement, outraged Zynners everywhere threw in an upper decker, and took to social media to express their displeasure. 

"The New Right can be understood not by what they have in common but what they oppose, the criminalization of Zyn,” @realDavidBJr tweeted. 

But while it's true that Zyn's base is more conservative, this is an issue that could draw bipartizyn support. "Democrats and Republicans may actually come together on this Zyn situation," @Thee_realdom added. 

The government is still a long way away from squashing our right to throat a Monica Lazynskey, or make Zyns go quietly like Juuls, but that isn't stopping degenerates everywhere from championing their favorite lip pillows. I think we all agree that there are bigger fish to fry this campaign seazyn, so for the time being, let's all throw in a Zynbabwe ferda, and think twice before holding another zyn-surrection.