For years, exotic dancers have served as a canary in our economic coal mine, informing us civilians, through the content of their tips, when a recession may be in the cards. 

“[As dancers] we always have to be aware of fluctuations in the market and how upper class white men are behaving and spending their money,” dancer @Botticellibimbo once wrote of this index on Twitter. “Ask ANY [dancer] we have to be aware of how rich people are going to spend their money, [dancing] is betting on how the rich spend their money. You’re gonna tell me that isn’t just a stock exchange?”

While it appears such is true, one question remains: What, exactly does it mean when a customer pays up in Yu-Gi-Oh! cards, a real incident the performer said occurred during a recent stage set. 

As @Botticellibimbo, Warren Buffett, and CNBC's Jim Cramer put their heads together to decode this anomaly, we armchair traders have more pressing business to attend to — parsing through some of Twitter's most hilarious posts. 

From Jimmy Carter's second term to what it really means to responsibly drink sake, here are 25 hilarious Tweets to help you distract yourself as our nation burns.