Brutal Historical Figures Who Earned Very Memorable Nicknames
Carly Tennes
Published
04/30/2024
in
wow
There are a whole lot of ways to land yourself a nickname. If you're an NFL player, all it takes is some nightclub issues to be dubbed "Broadway Joe" for the entirety of your career. If you're a student, incorrectly answering a question about the War of 1812 can get you named "cannonball" for the rest of the year. Heck, sometimes it's as simple as having a last name.
But to these historical baddies, landing a nickname is quite the honor, one that comes from several feats of incredibly badassery. From Vlad The Impaler to Kid Blink, here are some historical figures who most definitely deserved their incredibly cool nicknames.
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1. Harald "Bluetooth" Gormsson
“Bluetooth was named after the 10th-century king Harald ‘Blåtand”(Danish)’ Bluetooth’(English) Gormsson. Who peacefully united Norway and Denmark.” -
2. The Black Prince
“Edward of Woodstock, son of King Edward III of England. Commonly known as the Black Prince … he was was referred to that simply due to folklore. It was literally a reference to the fact that he allegedly wore black armour. There's no denying he earned such an awesome name. He was present at the battle of Crécy at the age of 16. He also had a fearsome reputation for leading chevauchées. They were essentially very fast mounted attacks against French holdings in which towns and crops were looted and burnt to the ground. These attacks were obviously designed to hurt French morale and undermine the monarchy. So you can see why the name 'Black Prince' is fairly apt.” -
3. The White Death
“I’ll go with The White Death. Finnish sniper Simo Häyhä who fought the Soviets in the Winter War. 505 sniper kills without using a scope.” -
4. Thomas “Stonewall” Jackson
“Thomas 'Stonewall' Jackson. During the first battle of Bull Run in the American Civil War, a Confederate officer was trying to rally his men to stand their ground. As most of the rebels were fleeing from the Union army, he told them, ‘Look, there's Jackson's men, standing like a stone wall.’ The battle ended in a Confederate victory and the nickname stuck.” -
5. Genghis Khan — a.k.a. Moloch
"Genghis Khan was referred to as Moloch by some, the fallen angel that declared war on mankind." -
6. Emperor Basil II, the Porphyrogenitus
Emperor Basil II, the Porphyrogenitus (born in the purple), the Young, Boulgaroktonos (The Bulgar Slayer.) It is said that after defeating a Bulgarian army, he took the survivors and blinded 99 out of every 100 of them, leaving the 100th with one eye so that he could see well enough to lead his comrades back to their ruler. -
7. Major General Ambrose Burnside
Major General Ambrose Burnside After which the facial hair is named and after you look at him you can understand why... -
8. Louis XI of France, a.k.a. the "Universal Spider"
Louis XI of France, also known as the "Universal Spider." He was called that because he was a master manipulator, always engaged in political scheming. -
9. Charles “The Hammer” Martel
“Charles Martel who stopped the Arabian conquest of western Europe was nicknamed Charles the Hammer.” -
10. Ivan The Terrible
“He was incredibly paranoid and that dictated a lot of his policies. After the death of his first wife, Anastasia, he went off the deep end. After the defection of one of his generals to the Lithuanians, he abdicated, and a boyar held the throne. The boyar didn't want the throne however, and only got Ivan back on by promising to Ivan that he could execute traitors without counsel from the church or the council of boyars. And then, fearing an uprising in Novgorod, he sacked it. His name doesn't mean terrible the way we might think of terrible- it means that he inspired terror. Грозный is more aptly translated as fearsome- he put quite the hurt on the countries that surrounded his kingdom.” -
11. Kid Blink
“Kid Blink, the one-eyed newsie who led the newsboy strike of 1899.” -
12. Lyndon B. Johnson — a.k.a “Jumbo”
“President Lyndon B. Johnson had a nickname for his — , "Jumbo". If a colleague came into a Capitol bathroom as he was finishing at the urinal there, he would sometimes swing around still holding his member, hooting, ‘Have you ever seen anything as big as this?’” -
13. Pepin The Short
“My favourite has always been "Pepin the Short". He was the father of Charlemagne, and, first of the Carolingian kings, but is remembered as being short.” -
14. Vlad The Impaler
“Vlad's tactics were brutal and utilized terror to a great extent. I'm not sure it's reasonable to characterize him as particularly more or less brutal than other -- I'll use Dan Carlin's term here -- historical arsonists, but he was certainly very brutal by modern standards. Vlad did, indeed, use impaling as a psychological scare tactic to demoralize Turkish foes but he was also fond of it as a method of capital punishment. Given the politically stressful times in which he lived, he used impalement to demoralize not just military opponents but would be political ones as well. Now the extent to which Vlad was a bloodthirsty monster is hard to say. While he almost certainly had some people impaled and very likely used the technique as a psychological ploy, the accounts of his use of impalement upon political rather than military enemies generally come from people or groups who had an ax to grind against him. As such, there is always the risk that they might be blown out of proportion to one degree or another.” -
15. Praise-God Barebone
Praise-God-Lest-Ye-Be-D—ed Barbone led the English parliament in the 1650's, after Pride's Purge had removed anyone from it who wasn't a Puritan. There was a fad for Puritans giving kids names like this, mostly around 1590-1610. In Barbon's case, it didn't work out so well, as instead of calling him Praisegod, people called him D—d. -
16. King Leopold — a.k.a. “The King of Belgians and the Beautiful Women.”
Beautiful Women” “King Leopold of Belgium was called “The King of Belgians and the Beautiful Women.” Man’s was a player lol.” -
17. William Iron Arm
"William Iron Arm, he earned the name for killing the emir of Syracuse. The emir was nearly cut in two by a single blow from Williams sword.” -
18. King Leopold II of Belgium — a.k.a. “The King of Belgians and the Beautiful Women.”
Beautiful Women” “King Leopold of Belgium was called “The King of Belgians and the Beautiful Women.” Man’s was a player lol.”
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