Though we may all know and love McDonald's Grimace, Flo from Progressive and Duo, the Duolingo Owl (may he rest in peace), not all mascots are created equal. Enter these terrifying monstrosities that somehow entered our youth.
From creepy clowns to confusing hybrid creatures, here are 12 insane brand mascots from our childhood.
1
Mountain Dew’s W— the Hillbilly
Because nothing says "soft drinks" like the implication of moonshine!
2
Quiznos' Spongmonkeys
Boasting big human eyes, tiny, furry bodies, and a look of true horror only seen in '80s slasher flicks, these short-lived Quiznos spokes-creatures were more of an abomination than a sandwich selling point.
3
Kellogg’s Bigg Mixx
Described as a “Chicken-Wolf-Moose-Pig” hybrid, per the Yakima Herald-Republic, this short-lived cereal mascot tried to do a whole lot at once.
4
The Smith’s Gobbledok
This alien from “the Potato Planet” doesn’t have us buying any chips.
5
Burger Chef’s Burger Chef and Jeff
“Burger Chef and Jeff (mascots for long-departed fast food chain Burger Chef) could be creepy AF (circa 1970s).”
6
Michelin’s Michelin Man
Though he may be animated today, the Michelin Man’s ancestors are truly the stuff of nightmares.
7
McDonald’s Mac Tonight
No wonder this creepy McDonald’s mascot was co-opted as a part of an even creepier meme.
8
Mucinex DM’s Mucus
Much like his name implies, this dude is gross.
9
Honeycomb’s ‘Crazy Craving’ Monster
Boldly asking “what if Gritty was evil *and* addicted to sugar?” Since 1997.
10
Tooheys' Tongue
Nothing says “buy my beer” like a tongue worming its way down city streets and into a house party.
11
Nike’s Swoosh
“Back in (1996) Nike spent $125,000 on a superhero mascot called Swoosh to appeal to kids.”
12
Sugar Rice Krinkles’ Krinkles the Clown
This guy walked so Pennywise could run.
