Life has three certainties: Death, taxes, and "Florida Man" — the superhero America needs and deserves — continuing his time-honored tradition of doing the most bats—t things in recorded history. Just take a look at the most recent crop of headlines dealing his latest — and likely drug-fueled — exploits.

From illegally keeping a pair of 'gators to poor attempts at peddling meth in a strip mall, here are the 22 most "Florida Man" headlines of the month.