The markets are up, and Twitter is celebrating by posting some of the dumbest stuff imaginable.

Despite the economy getting back on track, the White House is still tweeting vaguely threatening messages to the public. Mickey Roark is being mean and still looks weird, the wife of Weezer's bassist was in a shootout with the police, and the Twitter accounts for New Jersey and New York are going at each other.

It’s a delightfully random, stupid, and funny day on the internet.