17 Times Bad Monkeys Made the News

Not even monkeys are above cracking open a cold one with the boys.

Published 11 months ago in Funny

Bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do when they come for you? While we've seen the answer to this age-old question play out time and time again throughout Cops' 25-season run, but the answer is a bit different when escaped apes are the "bad boys" in question. In the past several years alone, escaped monkeys have made the most of their time on the loose, chugging beer, snacking on mail, and even in one case, looking for love before landing back in the hands — or should we say nets — of Animal Control.

From a primate who popped by Popeyes to one ape who managed to find a real job, here are 17 naughty primates whose monkey business made headlines.

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"70 monkeys escape east Japan zoo from apparent manmade hole in fence"
In 2020, 70 monkeys at a zoo in eastern Japan decided to make a break for it, sprinting through a hole in the fence of their enclosure.

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Instead of solving its battles ape to ape, this mobile monkey decided to flee from a conflict rather than squaring up. "When that happens the animals' adrenaline can some times over-ride everything and rather than get into a fight it seems this one has just gone for it and got past the enclosure perimeter fence,” said Keith Gilchrist of the Highland Wildlife Park.
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In 2012, a famous local rhesus macaque wound up in big trouble after he bit a woman sitting outside in an unprovoked attack.

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Wild capuchin monkey, Charlie, on the loose in Ireland after escaping from sanctuary: ‘He’ll bite you’
Though Charlie the Capuchin may have been rescued 20 years prior, he was still a danger to his community. “He won’t attack unless you try and pick him up,” Charlie’s owner explained to The Irish Times during his escape. “He’ll bite you, he’ll nip you, he’s like a feral cat.”
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Exotic monkey escapes from zoo enclosure and climbs tree in bid to dodge police
Upon bolting from the Dublin Zoo, a Sulawesi-encrusted macaque booked it up a tree in an attempt to evade officers. Unfortunately these efforts were in vain — it was ultimately captured.
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Monkey Has Fun On The Loose In Orlando Suburb
Zeeke, a local pet, managed to escape from its home in Orlando back in 2015, where it had quite the day on the town, snacking on neighbors’ mail, hanging out atop a stop sign, and even yanking apart a parked squad car.
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An escaped monkey in Florida did his darnedest to find a mate while on the road last September. “He left his needle group, and he’s currently out searching for love in Fort Lauderdale, not knowing that there are limited choices out there, so we’re rooting for him,” Dr. Missy Williams, who runs a local conservation group, told news outlets. “I would argue that most people in the dating pool in South Florida would agree, regardless of what species, the dating pool is limited.”
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Darwin — a.k.a. the “Ikea Monkey” shot to viral fame in 2012, after he was spotted wandering near an IKEA in Ontario. While initially the pet of local lawyer Yasmin Nakhuda, Darwin ultimately moved to Story Book Farm Primate Sanctuary, where he lives to this day.