1

When I listen to music I used to listen to in high school.

2

When I try to catch the soap I dropped in the shower.

3

When I hear the girl behind me ask her friend what my name is.

4

When my little cousin gets his first Pokemon game, and he says he is going to name his starter after me so we can always be on a team together.

5

When my wife whispers to me in a public place "did you just fart?"

6

When I'm one of the only ones who actually BYOB to a party.

7

When my girlfriend says she'll be ready to go out in 15 minutes.

8

When I find out I got a small raise.

9

When I walk into a strip club for the first time and there are multiple stages.

10

When the lady in front of me in the checkout lane pulls out her checkbook to pay for groceries.

11

When I look at myself in the mirror after the night of heavy drinking.

12

When I read that ejaculating 5 times a week lowers risk of prostate cancer.

13

When people clap at the end of a movie.

14

When my friends suggest we break out Mario Kart on N64.

15

When I used fake pictures on my dating profile and show up to meet my date.

16

When I saw someone driving a Prius throw trash out their window.

17

When I come home stoned and try to play it cool.

18

When the saleswoman tell me the glasses cost 300 dollars.

19

When my GF and I do 69 and she goes for my butt.

20

When my crush sees my message but doesn't reply.

21

Coming home from college and my mom immediately nags me to clean my room.

22

When someone blows past me on the freeway and I'm already going over 90 mph.

23

When the teacher writes super fast on the whiteboard as Im trying to write it all down.

24

When we get free pizza at work.

25

When I've been binge-watching a series for the last 10 hours and they kill off my favorite character.

26

When I find a forum post from 2002 filled with all my teenage angst and ignorance.

27

When someone makes a joke that hits a little too close to the truth.

28

When I noticed my friend's girlfriend has 17,000 tweets and 32 followers.

29

When I ordered a drink, looked around, and realized it was actually a gay bar.

30

When I get home and realize I left my phone plugged into the charger at my friend's house.