Two men drove to a gas station for a fill-up because they heard about a contest being offered by the station to patrons who purchase a full tank...
By ebaum
Featured 18 years ago
A man went to the doctor to get a double dose of Viagra, but his request was denied. "Why can't I have a double dose?" the man asked. "It's...
1. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money. 2. If they start out with, "How...
A man was taking golf lessons one day. He swung the driver and hit it 150 yards. "What did I do wrong?" he asked. "Hold the club gently",...
A black guy, a white guy, and a Mexican guy were eying a hot chick from across a bar. She notices them looking at her, so she walks up to...
Bill and Ned walk into a fast food joint one afternoon to get lunch. Bill orders and the cashier gives him his meal. Ned goes up to order and the...
A 6 year old and a 4 year old are upstairs in their bedroom. "You know what?" says the 6 year old. "I think it's about time we started...
Little Mary Margaret was not the best student in Catholic School, usually she slept through the class. One day her teacher, a Nun, called on...
There were 3 girls in high school, they were all best friends and they're moms were all best friends as well, one mom was blonde, one mom was...
See what 50 years will do: Scenario: Jack pulls into school parking lot with rifle in gun rack. 1956 - Vice Principal comes over, takes a...
A father and son walk out onto their porch overlooking the stream and the father puts his arm around his son, stares at the scenery, and...
1. I've smoked fatter joints than that. 2. Ahh, it's cute. 3. Who circumcised you? 4. Why don't we just cuddle? 5. You know they have...
A man had just settled into his seat next to the window on the plane when another man sat down in the aisle seat and put his black Labrador...
A small boy was lost at the Mall of America. The six-year-old approached a uniformed policeman and tearfully told him, "I've lost my grandpa."...
Here is a great letter from MIT to a prospective student and that student's response. Mr. John T. Mongan 123 Main Street Smalltown,...
I recently turned 65 and had to choose a new primary care physician for my Medicare program. After two visits and exhaustive lab tests, he...
Two blondes are walking down the road when one says, “Look at that dog with one eye!” The other blonde covers one of her eyes and says, “Where?”
A group of senior citizens was sitting around talking about their ailments: “My arms are so weak I can hardly hold this cup of coffee,” said...
How is a soy burger like a dildo? They're both substitutes for meat!
Four surgeons were sitting around discussing who they like to operate on. The first surgeon said, "I like operating on librarians. When you...
The 6th grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class, "Which human body part increases to ten times its size when stimulated?" No one...
A very gentle Southern lady was driving across the Savannah River Bridge in Georgia one day. As she neared the top of the bridge, she noticed a...
1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays; I go on...
Sam and a beautiful woman walk into a very posh Beverly Hills furrier. "Show the lady your finest mink!" the fellow exclaims. So the owner of...
Maria is a devout Catholic. She gets married and has 17 children. Then her husband dies. She remarries two weeks later, and has 22 children by...
