A secretary for a foreign embassy was entertaining a wealthy foreign ambassador during lunch at a very expensive restaurant in New York. The...
By ebaum
Featured 17 years ago
Every year, English teachers from across the USA can submit their collections of actual analogies and metaphors found in high school essays....
A man and a beautiful woman were having dinner in a fine restaurant. Their waitress (taking another order at a table a few paces away)...
The Lone Ranger and Tonto have been riding all day on a buffalo hunt. When they stop to rest, Tonto places his ear to the ground and...
A little girl goes to the barbershop with her father. While her dad is getting his hair cut, the girl begins eating a snack cake. While she's...
These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now...
She was in the kitchen preparing to boil eggs for breakfast. He walked in; She turned and said, You've got to make love to me this very...
Lulu was a prostitute. One day there was a raid. All the prostitutes were lined up outside the police station as they took them in one by...
An Italian walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. He tells the loan officer that he is going to Italy on business...
A ventriloquist's car breaks down near a farm and he decides to have a little fun with the redneck farmer that owned it. Hey there, he...
A man takes his father to the doctor. At the office, the doctor tells the old man, "I'm sorry, sir, but you have lung cancer. You'll be dead in...
A mother is walking with her five year-old son through the zoo when they reach the elephant cage. The boy looks with amazement at the large beast...
A man was fishing and he caught a crocodile. The crocodile told him, "Please let me go. I'll grant you any wish you desire." The man said,...
Doctor Dave had slept with one of his patients and felt guilty all day long. No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he just couldn't....
A man and his son walk into an ice cream parlor. The man orders a vanilla cone, looks at his son, slaps him on the back of the head and asks,...
A horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow. The horse fall's into a mud hole and is sinking. He calls to the chicken to go and get the...
Two old friends, one married and one single, were reunited after many years apart. The single man asked his friend, So, what’s it like...
An old Irishman walks into a bar, hauls his bad leg over the stool, and asks for a whiskey. "Hey," he says, looking down the bar, "is that Jesus...
On the first day of college, the Dean gave a speech about on-campus rules: The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students,...
A girl from Texas and a girl from New York were seated side by side on an airplane. The girl from Texas, being friendly and all, said: So,...
A blonde was given an opportunity to fly for the first time. Having never been on an airplane before, she was very excited and tense. As soon as...
A woman is in bed with her lover, who also happens to be her husband's best friend. They make love for hours and, afterwards, while they're just...
A little boy comes home from school and tells his father, "I got an F in math today." His father replies, "What happened?" The boy says, "Well,...
A man is out shopping and discovers a new brand of Olympic condoms. Clearly impressed, he buys a pack. Upon getting home, the man informs his...
A little kid asks his father, "Daddy, is God a man or a woman?" "Both son. God is both." After awhile the kid comes again and asks, "Daddy, is...
